Landloving Misfits
by TonksLupin01
Summary: Will and Jack are stranded in the middle of the ocean, trying to get to their next destination. Hilarity ensues. Coauthored by ForgottenSoul77


Summary: Humor/General  
Yo ho me heartys. We're on our way to find the black pearl.

(A/N: I typed this at 1 in the morning! So I don't know how well this is going to be.)  
**(C/A/N: I you're wondering why there are so many "rrrrs" in words it's because we looked up pirate language and followed the easy instructions. – ForgottenSoul77)** (P.S. STORY IS NOT MEANT TO OFFEND ANYONE! Well…except maybe Will…but that's the whole point of this story. :P)

**Will and Jack are in the middle of the ocean, trying to find the black pearl. The roaring waves tossed the tiny boat aside as the two pirates rushed back and forth. Water rushed into the rickety ship. **

**The two partners tried to keep the incoming water out of the boat as Captain Jack Sparrow yelled orders, a bottle of rum in hand**.

"If you can't handle this mate, you'll never make it alive in the real worrrrrld of pirrrrrates, especially at our next destination!" rambled the drunken pirate as the wind howled.

**Will Turner looked around wildly at his mate, as he tried to stop the incoming tide. "Where are we going!" he yelled. **

"Somewhere in the pacific thingy, you know, um… we uh…we're going north!"

**Will just shook his head, shaking inside. He was on a ship in the middle of the ocean with a drunken pirate and a compass that never pointed north. He was a goner. **

"Look, at ye, my grandmother could do better! You boob! C'mon! Get with the program ya scallywag!" yelled the drunken Pirate. A few more gulps and he would be out of it.

**Will looked at the pirate in disbelief. Here he is, got himself drunk and not doing any work and he has the nerve to tell _him_ to do better. The blacksmith just grit his teeth and concentrated at the task at hand. Trying to sink the bloody ship-er…save the bloody ship…**

"You fight like your dad but you work like bloomin' female!"

**The boy just sat wide eyed. Did he just say he worked like a female! A woman! He was no woman! He was a man! A big strong man! **

"C'mon you sloth ….did you know they may be worth nothing at all, but they move really fast these days!"

**Will couldn't help it anymore; he turned to his friend and stared him straight in the eye. "You sir, will hold your tongue. I am nothing of a female and my father's blood runs solely through my veins. When you insult me, Jack Sparrow, you insult him. Bootstrap Bill." **

"Wow, I didn't know how pathetic you really were until now! Whoa!"

**Will let out a sigh of frustration, grabbing at the rum and tossing it overboard. "Ha! Try to insult me now! Go ahead! Try!"**

"Hooey, you certainly showed me Will, My, my, my. You proved to me that you are the most pathetic son of a pirate I have ever had the misfortune. And yet it's never a smart move to remove a bottle of rum from a pirate's hand. But are you positive you arrren't a les?"

**Will's face turned a violent shade of pink. "I'm a man! I'm not a bloody female, you wench! And no! I'm perfectly, positively straight!" (ish…)**

"Ooooooo, you better make sure your girl doesn't hear you cursin women, or else she'll start jabberin about how girls are just as good as men and all that bloody shit. Then she won't like ye and then you won't have any choice but to marry another desperate land lover!"

**The blacksmith was about to make another comment when he realized his clothes were very wet. He looked down to see the water had risen up to his waist. **

"Good job Will, now we are all going ter drown and die…. Or at least you will cause I am the only person on this bloody ship that can swim!"

"**Well why didn't ya help me ya son of a-" just then the great ship cracked in two. Will gave Jack a look like a lost puppy dog. "Well DO SOMETHING!" he wailed. **

"O.K. go get the paste and tape and I'll set everythin rrrrright ya lassie!"

**Will whimpered and hugged the pole of the crows nest. "A great captain goes down with his ship…." He jumped into the depths heading for a small Island in the distance. "Good Luck Captain Jack Sparrow." **

"Have I just been stranded on me ship?" Jack then ran to the other end of the boat and took the life boat, cut the strings and he was off to the island.

**The young blacksmith looked back as he fought through the icy depths of the ocean. Why'd he jump? The current was way too strong. He was dragged under and all he could see for miles was endless blue water. He clawed at the liquid around him and finally broke the surface. Will dragged his weary body onto land and sat panting, to catch his breath. **

"Wow, maybe you aren't as pathetic as I thought. Stupid but not pathetic. Hows about we make another boat out of these trees and that skimpy boat over there. But this time, actually try when I'm doing my daily 15 bottles of rum treatment."

**Will gave a half smile. "I'll do that…" He looked up at Jack, smiling. "Captain." **

"Good on we go!"

And so the two partners worked together to make a fine ship.

The End


End file.
